:: Sunday ::
soundcheck : Linkin Park - Shadow of the Day
spoken. at 5:11 PM
soundcheck : Linkin Park - Shadow of the Day
Today wasn't that bad - especially not this morning, but every time the day comes to an end I'm struck by the confusion from not knowing if this is a permanent end to what I can't openly address.
I'm dealing with it, and I'm trying - but I'm just so frustrated because, just this morning I was alight with excitement at the prospect of so much change that will happen for me in the year to come.
I'm not doing this for you, but when it's done then it's a road that will lead to the main street of 'I'm doing this for us'.
He said to be firm about it, and I said it's not going to work that way.
She said yes you have to let her know, and I said I think I did.
So okay, I'm alright. I just need to get this done, and then I'll take another look at everything. If i'm too late by then and if things have changed, then maybe that's just life.
I just wish these things could be as simple as 'Okay, set ah? You say one ah? Don't pang seh hor.' but unfortunately, feelings are involved, things get complicated, and I have a perfect habit of misinterpreting and misreading a lot of things in life.
I'm just sure about it this time. It's not the same, and I don't want things to change. I'm going back to the beginning, I'm going to learn every single thing all over again and I'm going to remember:
- somewhere only we know
- Spider-man 3
- that smoking table at the K.A.P. McDonald's
- that hug
- that road up to Maju Camp.
And when I'm done; when I know I have it in me to pick up the pieces and mend them with everything I am, I am going to come back to you and show you that it doesn't matter to me if you leave here for good. It doesn't matter to me if I never hold you again. It doesn't matter if I never find myself in your eyes.
When I'm done with what I have to do, it only matters that I put everything into supporting you out of here, to help you find your way to happiness.
I love you.
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spoken. at 5:11 PM
