Tuesday, October 28, 2008

:: At Dawn ::
soundcheck : Four Tet - And They Look Broken Hearted

In yet another attempt to chronicle my life's many perils and pleasures, here I am once more, penning down my thoughts into a post as (unintentionally) ambiguous and cryptic as my previous post.

I'll try and make it crystal, so let me have a go at making things simple.

• Back from an eight-day trip that's left me with nagging thoughts and ideas. What was supposed to be a nostalgic re-enactment of a fond holiday turned out to be, instead, a realisation that things just aren't how I want them to be
• I realise, that this awareness, along with many others, has increasingly aided in my personal isolation from everyone and everything that i've branded with the label of 'orthodox'
• In a maddening attempt to grasp whatever means I have to achieve temporary escape, I realise that my efforts leave me scurrying in a frenzy alike to that of a rat in a melting cage
• I can smile at least to know that I am not alone in my disagreement with everything dear and everything near - alas, it is with allies too that I find fault and question

It is really getting harder and harder to breathe in my own skin, but no - this isn't a cry of desperation.

Truth be told, I live, I breathe, I function as a sane person is expected to - but a sense of insanity grips the very core of my being, as I grow more and more restless to greet the moment I am able wrest my limbs from these chains and exact my song of awakening upon every single one of you.

"...and it is from being resigned to such dark emotions that one will eventually come to live under the control of such influences."

- Anon.

_
spoken. at 12:13 AM