:: Hi ::
...and then in one fucking moment it was all over.
Everything.
They just all slowly crumbled down and took their turns to fall.
...and through it all i think you would've still blamed it on me.
How i am, how i changed, how i felt at one point of time or another or something i said.
I give up. No. I gave up.
I gave up, and the only reason why this space stayed so empty for so long was because i just have nothing to say about these crumbled cookies and toppled pillars.
For all that i've done. I know all of you, scattered in various pockets and parts of this sick country and this equally twisted world, will never forgive me, and i accept this.
My silence remains unshaken - only because i know i can never forgive myself.
My apologies have been used up too many a time, and all of you deserve something more. Something that i unfortunately cannot give.
...now i know where my tears went.
It remains clear that i am unworthy of my own tears, and as consequence, i present to you my unfeeling eyes. The ones that weep no longer.
Take them - for they are now your spoils.
Thank you for breaking me.
Thank you for this new self embrace that i have so readily accepted. This new person that i live with, that remains just as clueless as i am.
No, this isn't a post of revenge and this isn't a post where i tell you how much i hate you.
Do you even know if this post is about you ?
I used to be able to be free here- free and unbound by your words, thoughts and everything else you could humanly impose on me.
Then slowly the walls fell down and this hiding place has become nothing short of a tomb.
"these cuts are creases - trace the scars, fit the pieces."
One cut, two cut, three cut four. Cut me, cut you, hurt me... more.
It's a sort of addiction by now, and i can't expect anyone to understand - that's why they stay under fabric and not entirely on skin.
"a sort of fairytale....with you?"
Inspiration comes from the strangest of places - but like everything else, they come and go.
In just a matter of hours - hours that most people spend unconscious, i was dropped like a hot potato, and then like always i was left wondering..
...what the fuck was that ?
I still don't know, but i'm trying.
I really am, and i don't even know why.
Maybe because you speak to me.
You speak to me in such a way that i am compelled to read your every word over and over again. You speak to me in the above mentioned way to a point where my entire being is engulfed in a tingling sensation of self-awareness.
What does that mean ?
You're probably as clueless as i am.
I see you, but you don't see me.
I want you to open your eyes.
Open them and know that...
...know that i don't know.
"...split me open, sticking to my pointy ribs are all your infants in abortion cribs."
spoken. at 4:07 AM
...and then in one fucking moment it was all over.
Everything.
They just all slowly crumbled down and took their turns to fall.
...and through it all i think you would've still blamed it on me.
How i am, how i changed, how i felt at one point of time or another or something i said.
I gave up, and the only reason why this space stayed so empty for so long was because i just have nothing to say about these crumbled cookies and toppled pillars.
For all that i've done. I know all of you, scattered in various pockets and parts of this sick country and this equally twisted world, will never forgive me, and i accept this.
My silence remains unshaken - only because i know i can never forgive myself.
My apologies have been used up too many a time, and all of you deserve something more. Something that i unfortunately cannot give.
...now i know where my tears went.
It remains clear that i am unworthy of my own tears, and as consequence, i present to you my unfeeling eyes. The ones that weep no longer.
Take them - for they are now your spoils.
Thank you for breaking me.
Thank you for this new self embrace that i have so readily accepted. This new person that i live with, that remains just as clueless as i am.
No, this isn't a post of revenge and this isn't a post where i tell you how much i hate you.
Do you even know if this post is about you ?
I used to be able to be free here- free and unbound by your words, thoughts and everything else you could humanly impose on me.
Then slowly the walls fell down and this hiding place has become nothing short of a tomb.
"these cuts are creases - trace the scars, fit the pieces."
One cut, two cut, three cut four. Cut me, cut you, hurt me... more.
It's a sort of addiction by now, and i can't expect anyone to understand - that's why they stay under fabric and not entirely on skin.
"a sort of fairytale....with you?"
Inspiration comes from the strangest of places - but like everything else, they come and go.
In just a matter of hours - hours that most people spend unconscious, i was dropped like a hot potato, and then like always i was left wondering..
...what the fuck was that ?
I still don't know, but i'm trying.
I really am, and i don't even know why.
Maybe because you speak to me.
You speak to me in such a way that i am compelled to read your every word over and over again. You speak to me in the above mentioned way to a point where my entire being is engulfed in a tingling sensation of self-awareness.
What does that mean ?
You're probably as clueless as i am.
I see you, but you don't see me.
I want you to open your eyes.
Open them and know that...
...know that i don't know.
"...split me open, sticking to my pointy ribs are all your infants in abortion cribs."
spoken. at 4:07 AM
