The Living Receiver.

Gone

2009-02-12T00:33:00.002+08:00

:: Gone ::
soundcheck : Foo Fighters - Learn to Fly

Run and tell all of the angels -
this could take all night.
Think I need a devil to help me
Get things right.

Hook me up a new revolution,
cause this one is a lie;
sat around laughing
and watched the last one die.

I'm looking to the sky to save me -
Looking for a sign of life.
Looking for something help me burn out bright.

I'm looking for a complication,
Looking cos I'm tired of lying.
(I'll) Make my way back home,
When I learn to fly, high.

Image from: Yimmys Yayo

I Like Seeing You Bitter

2009-02-10T09:16:00.004+08:00

:: I Like Seeing You Bitter ::
soundcheck : Frank Klepachi - Rain in the Night

In two days' time I'll find myself in a country I've never visited - clinging to my belongings and managing a balancing act with my eyes giving equal attention to a pocket map and my surroundings.

Beyond looking for the guesthouse in District 1, I'm walking in with nothing planned. If my cheque comes in February, I might even extend my stay well into late March - but of course, I've not planned anything so I'd rather not toy with that idea too much.

I've got a new (well okay, second hand) toy to play around with - and it'll probably be my most treasured piece of equipment during the journey. Well, hopefully I don't fuck up and mess up my photos but Valerie mentioned there being CD burning services in Phnom Penh and Siem Reap.

One of the bonuses I'm really psyched about though, is the seven-article series that I've agreed to do for a traveller's portal. Write what I want, keep it short and edgy and keep it personal. It's a paid job and it pays for me to really get into it - wherever I'll be. Fucking A-grade awesome.

_

Knives

2009-02-06T03:42:00.002+08:00

:: Knives ::
soundcheck : Incubus - Punch-Drunk

...it's almost four in the morning.

Oh, but Sal! Isn't that a bad thing, seeing as how you're writing an entry two hours before you usually get up for work?

No, because today was my last day showing up for work at Mint (I don't work in a mint - that's just what we call my studio). I guess I was lucky enough to get an early release! Instinctively, I headed straight home to do things like:

Take an unjustified and completely unnecessary nap
Attempt to lotion my scabbing back myself
Go halfway through a Rambo marathon and get bored just moments before the first movie ended.

Yes, because when you can act like a complete pig in the confines and comfort of your own four walls, it's like nothing else matters.

On a more promising note, though; today was also a day of prospects. I don't profess to be the best writer around, but you know it's a very nice thing when you change your facebook status and immediately get two offers for freelance work.

The most interesting thing is, an old friend has professed his company's interest in hiring me as a travel writer. With effect from my upcoming month-long trip, I'll be paid for articles and selected photos!

I hope I'll still be able to get enough work as a Copywriter, but you really can't say no to having more avenues to fund your journeys.

Right before I woke up from a random dream of me trying to hire a bus somewhere in Laos, I started thinking about the journey, and how it'd be so difficult to tear myself from the people I'd be meeting. So I got up to try and shake the feeling off, right? And as if like a sign from above, I see this on my RSS:

Image from FFFFOUND!

Talk about a perfect set of guidelines to live by.

Oh, lastly - I realise there are a lot of people visiting and not leaving comments on the tagboard (or flooble or whatever the hell you call it these days). Hey, I mean, come on - how long does it take to leave a 'mmmm yeah, nice tits' or 'nah, could afford to be a little more firm'? Say something, plzthx.

_

Unghhh

2009-01-31T09:49:00.002+08:00

:: Unghhh ::
soundcheck :DJ Tiesto - Andain/Beautiful Things

It's difficult for myself to come to terms with the fact that I'll be off on the big trip in less than two weeks' time. It's exciting to realise that I've finally come to this point, but at the same time I feel so unprepared and just this morning, a few realisations made me feel as if I was going to be walking in there just to die haha.

One of these realisations is - How am I going to make 800 USD last for more than a month?

I'll have to figure something out, but the more I look for a solution or a safety net, the more I feel like I shouldn't be thinking about it.

I'll be going to Ho Chi Minh on a one way flight and go through the borders to visit Phnom Penh, Siem Reap, and then finally into Pakse.

I'm hoping to go through Champassek by boat, up the Mekong, but I'm sure either route should be just as scenic.

The biggest fear right now? Is having to deal with being alone in a guesthouse at night, with noone to talk to and no avenues to make new friends (ala Siem Reap and the old tourists).

_

Pakse

2009-01-28T18:55:00.003+08:00

:: Pakse ::
soundcheck : Nine Inch Nails - We're In This Together

It's like someone was reaching out for the shaker and his or her fingers couldn't quite wrap themselves around the circumference.

It's a slip up and the shaker tumbles from the cabinet, emptying it's contents all over the stove and onto the dish because someone else forgot to screw the cap on tight enough after a refill.

So everything is fucking salted and blanketed in white crystals that don't look very appealing, especially considering the heat of the kitchen and the mess that you now have to deal with - and don't get me started on the fact that you'll have to throw whatever was on the stove out, and start from the beginning.

Mmm, yes. Start from the beginning.

_

Solicit

2009-01-21T23:08:00.002+08:00

:: Solicit ::
soundcheck : Afroman - Crazy Rap

I threw the letter today! (For those unfamiliar, that means handing in your resignation.)

What am I gonna do? For starters, take it easy and get some freelancing done. The money doesn't even cover half of what I was drawing, but hey it's all good until I can decide on when to settle on my offers.

You know you've reached a milestone in life when your mum tells you about how her colleagues, who also happen to be mothers of sons, discuss how to tell if your son's been boning a girl.

The more interesting quotes, made by sources unnamed, go something like:

"YOU JUST SEE THE BEDSHEET, CONFIRM ONE I TELL YOU!"

and

"AAAAIYOOOOOOOOOOOOHHH".

Interestingly enough though, my mum brought to the table something one of my favourite aunts (her ex-colleague, not a relative) said after she witnessed me take sips from a glass of Bacardi coke at age 10, and through teasing and other conversations.

"You better watch out - he starts young and breaks hearts."

Thanks for not telling me mum.

But yes, it's still strange to be able to talk about these things with your mum.

This is fucking hilarious and reminds me of the stupid diagrams that my brother and I used to draw and laugh at when we were younger:

Image from Yimmys Yayo

I'm still very lost, like floating debris in space, but things are slowly coming back to me and I hope I'll be able to make more sense about these new feelings and new ideas.

In any case though, I don't need to go on about how much I absolutely miss the people I've met and how two months is too fucking long before I get to see them again.

In the meantime, I should be able to put those photos up on fbook over the weekend, since I'm collecting them on Friday!

_

206

2009-01-20T13:20:00.003+08:00

:: 206 ::
soundcheck : Rika Muranaka - The Best Is Yet to Come

I'm back, and bitter sweet about the entire trip.

I can go on about the many things that I regret not having done, not having seen, the people I did not speak to etc - but I think the most important thing is that I realise - for a mere five days - I did things I could never really do with five or six years in Singapore.

The idea, was to find myself - the question was not where and who, but more so 'how'.

It is still an unanswered question, but I know I will never forget the simple roads I have taken to at least, try and get there.

I have left my heart in Phnom Penh. For, without rhyme or reason, falling in love is as simple as love itself should be.

I just hope we all meet again - and that we never stop letting the roads we take guide us through our many journeys.

_

Zero Line

2009-01-16T02:03:00.003+08:00

:: Zero Line ::
soundcheck : Four Tet - Sleep, Eat Food, Have Visions

Two hours away from the flight, and this is it.

Everything had to come to zero - and while dregs and drabs are left hanging from the vantages of broken memories and complex, unnecessary difficulties, this is where I take the leap and say 'fuck you guys, I'm going my own way'.

Just wanted to thank a few people before I go off into nothingness and throw myself against the very motion of life itself.

Parents: Without your support and love, I doubt I'd have ever come to being who I am; I really owe it to you and it's sentences like these that make me think 'words are cheap'. One day, I'll make it up to you and although I probably wouldn't be able to repay every single cent, I know i'll definitely be able to return every moment of love and kindness.

Brothers: Although our moments are spent in nonsense and laughter, you should know that it's in these moments that I'm reminded of who I am, and of who I love. I need to make it through these times to see the two of you take the same, if not similar paths and learn as much as I have from them - if not more.

Daniel: I am probably going to get so fucking sick of you by the third day, like what Julius said - but I love you, you smoked out Tommy Chong, you.

Julius: Thanks for telling us that we probably should have gotten tetanus jabs and everything 5 hours before our flight - but in every sense of it all, we probably would have died (not sure still) if not for your advice. This trip is something you helped set in motion, and we'll never forget it.

Juliana: Your replies are always short, and for some reason you always have to go like five lines into a conversation - but you've been there for me, and that is something I can never ignore. You put things in perspective, and if not for what you told me, I probably wouldn't have been able to make (and stick to) the decisions I've made.

Ade: You inspired me through a lot of my more pointless moments, and right to the end of our relationship, it was having you around that made me realise how you can't just deal with unhappiness by sweeping it under a rug. I'm going for it now - and for that, I especially have you to thank.

Before I leave,

TITTIES TITTIES, MY MY WHAT PERFECT TITTIES
Image from: Yimmys Yayo

So long... If I haven't been shot or stepped on a landmine, then I'll be looking forward to brighter days, and better titzzzz. :)

_

Table Hero

2009-01-15T09:16:00.005+08:00

:: Table Hero ::
soundcheck : Steve Aoki (with Yelle) - Je Veux Te Voir

Remind me to never again order Okonomiyaki from my favourite Japanese fusion restaurant. I just think it's nonsense to be paying that much for a flour, octopus and mayonnaise pancake. In all honesty I thought it was an egg dish. I guess it pays to be a little more patient and READ before you give in to hunger's call.

Apart from her sulking from having overslept, dinner with the pianist was pretty pleasant — I even managed to cram in some shopping since we had to push the reservation back. It's really strange to think about her as a piano teacher because thinking about that vocation brings me back to when I was... 13? and taking electone classes at Yamaha. I remember looking at -my- teacher and thinking 'whoaaaaaaaaaaaaa, long time before i get there', and it's been 10 years and here I am, having just had dinner with a piano teacher. TIME IS NO LONGER ON OUR SIDE.

This is where a distant voice in the background yells something like 'fuck yeah, because the world comes to an end in 2012!' but I really don't give a shit, because while people in Bangkok are freaking out about having to deal with daylight temperatures of 15ºC, I think it's about goddamn time some cold weather comes to Singapore. Can anyone honestly not welcome the sudden gusts of wind we've been experiencing here? I say never mind the sunlight — since we're all going to die anyway, we might as well go out with our arms flailing and our faces looking like this:

Image from: I Believe in Advertising

Agency: Scholz and Friends, Berlin

Cut the Cord

2009-01-13T21:56:00.005+08:00

:: Cut the Cord ::
soundcheck : Hot Chip - Ready for the Floor

The actress struts forward, her eyes cruise from top left to top right corners of her eyeballs; her head in full tow from the motion.

Her pupils reach the farthest corners of her eyelids, and it seems as if they bear a weight so immense that she cannot help but tilt her head from side to side as well.

With each eye movement, she paces forward. Somewhere in between where she starts pacing and where she comes to rest, she probably places her index finger (doesn't matter which) on her chin.

All this while, she's mouthing off something like:

"...well, if you win 4-D (the lotto), then we can finally have that honeymoon you've been promising me!"

"...since you like her so much, why don't you ask her out? I'm not that important to you anyway."

"...Confucius say, girl with bad acting - is girl with pink IC."

Who is she saying this to? The male actor who, by the time she finishes her pseudo philosophical strut, should be blurred out and standing a few paces behind her - in the background.

What follows? She doesn't turn. She tilts her head sideways, so that it looks like she's pointing at something with her chin. Again, her eyes seem to dictate the movements of her head.

What does this strange act signify? The end of what she has to say, and a cue for the male lead to either

a) Fly into a speechless rage
b) Grab her arm and spin her around for a kiss, right before the credits roll
c) Go wide-eyed, point his index finger right at her nose and say 'YOU...' without completing his sentence.

So, have things really changed since the last time you watched a local serial about gambling gods (my favourite, by the way) or some guy selling you tiao (completely made up, but bearing a 65% probability of ever having existed)?

Maybe not.

SURPRISE TITTIES

Image from: Yimmys Yayo

Sonic

2009-01-12T14:24:00.004+08:00

:: Sonic ::
soundcheck : Prodigy - Mindfields

As a little development from that last post (with the picture of a smiling friend), I would really really love to own a sloth one day (though something tells me It's probably not feasible, thus it may not even happen).

Here's an excerpt from a hubpages user's guide to taking care of one.

"...make sure you're there most of the time. Otherwise they will start to whine. If you are going to be doing the laundry etc, then just pick them up and hug them , they'll get the idea to cling on to you. Or if yours doesn't like the sound of that then just get a blanket and fold it like a hammock and tie it behind your neck. Then fix it into a pouch sort of and then put your sloth in there and let them do whatever. They love attention.

Playing With Your Sloth

Sloths love to play tickle, and peek-a-boo. Some of them might like different games, but these are the most popular. As strange as it sounds they love to give kisses. When you play tickle do not tickle them in these areas these areas are very sensitive: under arms, inner thigh , and their palms. They'll get a little sulky. But, if you give them a hug they'll come out of it. They love to play peek-a-boo under a blanket. They can play this game for hours."

THEY SULK AND THEY LOVE HUGS HAHAHAHA.

For irony's sake I'll probably name my sloth Speedy or Sonic but of course, for some reason TIMMEHH actually sounds like a pretty good name for a sloth.

Jude is cool as a python and all, but he's just too scared for me to ever be close to him. He got stoned though, so I think that's the most pet-owner bonding we'll ever do.

Okay before I get too un-manly talking about affectionate creatures I'll just leave you with these:

Images from: ICanHasCheezeBurger

Bedsheet

2009-01-12T07:12:00.007+08:00

:: Bedsheet ::
soundcheck : Daft Punk - Aerodynamic

Been too lazy to update, but I've been saving the frequency of my entries for things that are to come.

In any case, I'm probably going to be late for work again - but ever since I started de-prioritising, work has become less of a bitch to deal with.

---------update-----------

Okay, I was late for work, but no-one really cared.

In any case, I didn't publish the first half of this post because I was struggling with a choice of accompanying image. I was stuck between the one above and this one:

LOOK AT HIS FACE HAHAHAHAAHA.

**Images from: FFFFOUND!
_

Without Thought or Form

2009-01-06T06:59:00.002+08:00

:: Without Thought or Form ::
soundcheck : Steve Aoki - Helicopter (Weird Science Remix)

Courtesy of Yimmy's Yayo

Hair = Perfect
Tits = Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

_

Jack>John

2009-01-04T21:59:00.001+08:00

:: Jack>John ::
soundcheck : Placebo - Every Me, Every You

Just for the record, it took me quite some time to figure out what that little 'soundcheck' thing under the title was for. On a more interesting note, however - I realised I stopped with the whole SFW NSFW thing - I think primarily because i've been hoarding the titties instead of sharing them.

This is an upcoming movie, which I believe is going to be a remake of a 70's action flick/series. Watch the trailer - if you don't appreciate it for the humour then maybe you'll dig how it was filmed. I know nothing about film or humour, but that's because I have a more natural reason to explain why I found it entertaining.

2009-01-03T02:30:00.002+08:00

:: Love ::
soundcheck : MGMT - Time to Pretend

I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.

Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.

I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin,

and fuck with the stars.

You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars.

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends

I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.

There's really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up

anew.

The models will have children, we'll get a divorce
We'll find some more models, everything must run it's course.

We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end

We were fated to pretend

Cyclonus and the Sweeps

2008-12-31T19:40:00.002+08:00

:: Cyclonus and the Sweeps ::
soundcheck : MSTRKRFT - Woman (Wolfmother Remix)

Dear self,

I make this letter out to you, firstly, to thank you for the painful year you've shouldered - and for more that is to come.

More importantly, however, I write to you to apologise for the abuse you will have to put up with tonight. In high probability, you may gain consciousness on New Year's Day:

in a house that is not your own
with people that you know (or don't)
with substances you probably will feel like regurgitating
with little or no recollection of the events that transpired

and

sparing no caution to what little was left of 2008.

Although these few points best summarise the likely outcome of how you will spend the last moments of your year, do know that you do not endure this in vain. It is in fact, for the glory of the long-deceased Optimus Prime, and other personae such as John J. Rambo, Solid Snake and possibly, Tommy Chong, that you have been tasked to ride this final night out - like so much lightning up an unsuspecting victim's panties.

Good luck, and may the force be with you.

Yours Truly,
Sal.

_

Zap

2008-12-30T21:33:00.002+08:00

:: Zap ::
soundcheck : U2 - One

The sky looked pretty calm and, although I'm recalling something that I thought about an hour ago, it still looks steady and it hasn't rained.

I was walking home from the SSC, all chilled out with a really mellow song playing in my head and then I saw a couple of flashes overhead.

"Lightning," I thought, and of course, shrugged off.

Strangely enough, I started recalling one of those 'stop, drop, roll' articles about what to do when you're struck by lightning - and this phrase flashed in my head:

"One of the early warnings of a lightning attack is when your hair stands on end and you feel a mild tingling on your skin, from the gathering of electrons in your vicinity."

I thought, "Oh shiiiiieeeeeeetttt my last meal wasn't a really good one," because yes, that's just one of the things I care for the most - but this was followed by a really strange afterthought.

I was already a number of metres away from where I first saw the flashes, but I instinctively turned back, half expecting to see my own body lying there, still smoking from the lightning, with a little flame eating the tip of a finger or two.

No, this isn't an attempt to sound morbid - I just honestly thought the whole instantaneous out-of-body experience-death thing would have made for a cool plot catalyst in a movie or something.

Refresh my mind, but has anyone seen something like that in a show before?

Camponotus

2008-12-28T19:54:00.006+08:00

:: Camponotus :: (SFW)
soundcheck : Crystal Castles - Bitter Hearts

I just finished watching a sequel to one of my favourite childhood films (or series, in this case) and I want to talk about this guy:

Yes, he's 22 - enjoying his prime in the entertainment industry as perhaps the hottest young male lead to star in quite a number of great films. He probably makes more money than any one of us can dream of possessing and the list of material benefits goes on.

However, has anyone stopped to realise how no other person has managed to successfully represent popular icons of the 80's, especially being someone who grew up in (or was born in) that era?

Think about it.

The first generation of the transformers saw two leading human characters in the animated series - Sparkplug (what a name) and Spike. Father and son of the Witwicky family. Some twenty-something years later, the 2007 live action film release of the Transformers sees the male protagonist, Sam Witwicky, acted out by Shia LaBeouf.

So who's Sam? No, he's not a descendant that has to put up with having a parent named 'Spike', or worse, a grandparent named 'Sparkplug'. Instead - Sam's character is the reincarnation of Spike Witwicky, of the 80's animated series.

The lucky lad has already signed up for three film instalments, and it has been theorised that the moniker 'Spike' could possibly be earned as a nickname in the next sequel. In the 1985 animated movie, Spike takes a ride on a hot rod. Let's see them film that.

Score: LaBeouf - 1, Jealous 80's Children - 0

2008 sees the release of yet another sequel to the Indiana Jones saga. The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull reacquaints audiences with a graying Harrison Ford as the good doctor himself, but wait - what's this? Scruffy looking, leather jacket wearing young punk on a pseudo-harley type motorcycle? It can only be Shia LaBeouf. Halfway through the movie (spoiler warning), Indie meets up with an old lover (a character from the 1984 sequel) and lo and behold - they discover that lad in leather is indeed the illegitimate son of Dr Jones (end of spoiler). Towards the end, a scene has a gust of wind toss Indie's trademark hat towards the feet of the new Henry Jones Jr. Blatant enough? Maybe not.

Score: LaBeouf - 2, Jealous 80's Children - 0

If you think about it, scoring those two roles puts him higher up on the list of modern-day 80's icons than anyone else. Now all he needs to do is play Marty McFly in a Back to the Future remake and I'm sure the magazines will be crazy over the idea of 80's reincarnates.

_

4:36

2008-12-28T09:05:00.008+08:00

:: 4:36 :: (Mildly NSFW)
soundcheck : Motorcycle - As the Rush Comes (AVB Universal Religion Remix)

I inch my way through the crack that presents itself from an unclosed door - I gently part the entrance to sneak a visit to that space I left behind.

I find nothing familiar - nothing ties me to a singular entity or locale that I can call an anchor.

I am hit by a free-floating wave of consciousness. I realise - this is a reflection of the path I've chosen. There is a paradox. Here and now, I am unfeeling - yet I cannot explain the mystery. Is that nostalgia who heaves a weary sigh? For I am sure regret has long departed from the premises.

Whatever the mix, this is a bland cocktail that presents itself - one that fails to charm me with a horrid and bitter after taste.

I realise then, what lies before me: I am surveying a wreckage.

I question once more. Why is there nothing left to salvage?

Because although I have closed my heart and eyes upon that space - it has continued to burn in my absence.

It is time to walk away.
The door must stay shut.

Courtesy of Yimmy's Yayo

91

2008-12-27T11:19:00.004+08:00

:: 91 :: (SFW)
soundcheck : Sigur Ros - Staralfur

Did a bit of clearing up of the old hard drive - and realised I've been ploughing through the first season of Lost like a porn starved fifteen year old with a brand new cache of preview sites.

How have I managed this? For me to explain, would be for me to begin with an apology.

To my dear friends - this is the reason why I've been late for almost every single event/activity.

I experienced something I wasn't too proud of last night. It felt familiar, like meeting an old friend you've yet to clear a grudge with. Like the obliging person I usually am, I let this old friend have his space - and by the end of the night, I allowed his influences to have significant effect on some of the ideals I've been holding on to.

But it's all good, because It's Saturday and there's more than enough love to go around.

This reminds me of what Ashley Wood did for Konami's print rendition of the first Metal Gear Solid. Chanced upon it via FFFFOUND! and it's pieces like this that prove my undying affection for work that's a little more sparing on colour.

_

Original Silver

2008-12-26T15:07:00.004+08:00

:: Original Silver :: (SFW)
soundcheck : Audion - Just Fucking

I love:

How it's only Friday, yet it already feels like a pretty fulfilled weekend
Evangeline Lilly (Kate from Lost)

Mmmm, nice.

Oh that's right, I don't have to come into work today - yet deadlines aren't being pushed back and clients still prowl the streets of Singapore; thirsty for the blood of young virgins.

This Christmas didn't really feel any different from the rest, but of course, as a disclaimer - it's usually because I look at Christmas (and a lot of other things) from an observer's perspective, and endlessly question the reasons why people feel comforted and where their jubilation stems from. I can't really say that it looks like faith for most, yet you can't deny how infectious the jingles, candy canes and celebrations can get. I'm just glad that, at the very least, people are generally a lot happier than they really are.

This guy really set some high standards as the life of his party.

Six dead as gun-toting Santa opens fire, kills self
"Local media reports said Pardo was let into the house by revelers who thought he had been hired as entertainment for children at the party.

But once inside, he produced a handgun from beneath his costume and opened fire, spraying party-goers with bullets.

After terrified revelers fled the scene, Pardo then reportedly torched the house with a homemade incendiary device before making his getaway.

He was found dead from a single gunshot to the head at his home in Sylmar, approximately 25 miles (40 kilometres) away, a few hours later, police said."

- Courtesy of Channel News Asia, AFP/de/yt

Curtain

2008-12-24T07:21:00.004+08:00

:: Curtain ::
soundcheck : The Whitest Boy Alive - Inflation

Random thoughts to start the day:

I've never taken to the name Avery, because somehow that name is neighbours with an Aviary in my head: not good to picture a walking birdcage when you see an Avery.
I've read that you just cannot find Buddha in Tokyo - I figure a place so highly strung would need a little help in the escapism department, no?
I have four articles to settle, and I haven't even started on one of them.
I've started watching Lost, and by god I really hate that fucken blonde.
I am considering labelling my entries as NSFW/SFW, just so I can put up titty images to proclaim my love for sweet sweet mammaries.
I am comforted by rain in the morning, but really freaked out when it comes to blanket the city at night.

I love it when people mess around with icons/characters from my childhood. Anyone remember who this poor guy is? (Courtesy of FFFFOUND!)

Sonorono

2008-12-23T22:24:00.003+08:00

:: Sonorono ::
soundcheck : The Beatles - Hey Jude

It's Christmas again - time for me to question the reason why everyone is so happy. However, I'm not here to justify my right to feeling down every end of year, but actually to show you this:

Now I've never really been a big fan of graphic design and illustration; and by fan I mean I don't remember the names of artists and I don't keep a collection of favourite pieces - but something caught my eye here, and I'm pretty sure it goes beyond my boyish fancy for anything that looks tough, maims, kills and destroys.

This particular piece was done by Canadian illustrator Robert Kim (phwoooaaarrr i'm crediting an artist, aren't I being so niche!) who clearly draws inspiration from Manga and popular J-culture.

Stumbled across his work, and others through an rss entry that listed this gallery and what I can say is, go have a look - whether you appreciate these things or not - because most of the features are seriously pretty!

Okay as a last ditch to get you to visit the site, nice tits on images 13, 15 and 32.

schwag

2008-12-23T09:40:00.002+08:00

:: schwag ::
soundcheck : Queens of the Stone Age - Millionaire

Right. I don't know if it's my weekend activities or my feelings of resignation that have created this... black hole where my desk used to be; but I really, REALLY need to take my mind off these distractions and get to fucken work.

Oh, especially since I don't have to come in on Friday. But then again I'm so broke I hope I can collect on some of these debts. If you're reading, please pay me back, okay?

Courtesy of FFFFOUND!

Cover

2008-12-23T07:00:00.002+08:00

:: Cover ::
soundcheck : Frou Frou - Old Piano

Hello, dear head of mine. While you were gone - I've had such a good night's sleep.

I really need to settle with a proper alarm tone, lest I grow to hate all my favourite songs. I can't really remember what I was supposed to do last night, because I kind of sank all the way into my hard, hard bed and faded into a really deep sleep.

Funny thing is I've been sleeping so well; so this seemed like someone cast a Level 5 Sleep on me or something.

Today, I really need to settle my work - because that way, I get to do whatever the hell I want with my holiday and pave the way towards an even greater weekend.

_

212.105.23.46

2008-12-22T09:10:00.004+08:00

:: 212.156.23.46 ::
soundcheck : Ladytron - Destroy Everything You Touch

I just realised how much we were giggling throughout Ip Man (and here I am stifling my laughter once more, just from reading the name). But we meant NO disrespect, *cough*especially since one has to consider that we entered the cinema with a heightened sense of appreciatory aptitude as compared to everyone else.

Somehow, the teenager at the counter must have made a bad call when he gave us tickets to seats that were supposedly booked, but unclaimed at 15 minutes into the show. So we stumbled through the wrong door, of the right cinema, and into an aisle filled with people - all the way to the place we were supposed to sit.

We split.

Two out the door and two towards the screen — and after a semi-perilous trek, we met at a row of seats that were obviously taken. I cursed to one of them and I swore we had the wrong cinema, but of course we were all too lazy to bother so we sat in the second row.

Were I sober enough, I guess I would have walked away with a neck ache — but I swear to you, this show really blew our minds.

The dude had his IP address on a training dummy, and you should've seen how he beat the shit out of this dude:

He's actually quite a looker but it was just fun to see him put on weight. We were quite stressed over trying to remember where we saw him but I kept saying Battle Royale kinda just to throw everyone off.

Okay it's not a comedy and there are serious nationalistic undertones going on throughout the movie, but this one's a good watch, especially if you're... in a heightened state of appreciation.

Mary Men

2008-12-22T01:46:00.003+08:00

:: Mary Men ::
soundcheck : KMK - Tangerine Sky

If you really think about it, it isn't very cool to be an Anglophile and blazed at the same time; because phrases you come across like

FEEL THE HEROIC AS THE DRAGON FLY AT THE SKY

would just not have the same effect on others as it would on you.

Attack, Decay, Sustain, Release

2008-12-21T11:46:00.002+08:00

:: Attack, Decay, Sustain, Release ::
soundcheck : Simian Mobile Disco - Sleep Deprivation

Last night, was really it - and I can't wait for more of said nights to transpire. Everything considered, I actually think we're on a roll. I couldn't find a better title to match how I felt about everything but yes - SMD's debut album kind of packages the electricity, the hormones and the entire cycle of it all in a nice little bundle of four words.

My head still feels like a pumpkin.

_

Soule

2008-12-19T08:02:00.002+08:00

:: Soule ::
soundcheck : The Hives - Hate to Say I Told You So

"Kenani made the revelation when announcing that the shoes Zaidi had thrown have been destroyed by security agents to ensure they did not contain explosives.

"The shoes were examined by the Iraqi and American security services and then destroyed," the judge told AFP.

However, he said the lack of the key piece of evidence in the case would not prevent the investigation from proceeding.

"I would have preferred to have had the shoes as evidence for the case but since Muntazer al-Zaidi has confessed to his action and that the television pictures confirm it, the investigation can continue," he said."

- Excerpt from Channelnewsasia, AFP/so

Wtf did the shoes do to you?

10-minute Rain

2008-12-16T23:59:00.002+08:00

:: 10-minute Rain ::
soundcheck : Eva Cassidy - Time After Time

It's simple. ~~I believed~~ I was~~n't~~ good enough.

_

Epitaph

2008-12-16T07:39:00.002+08:00

:: Epitaph ::
soundcheck : Muse - Sing for Absolution

Today, I awake.

In that single experience I felt and thought so many things that I'm surprised I didn't just break down right after. It's a lot clearer now, because when you start to pick apart at the fibres, you get a sense of how everything is strengthened by the weave, and how everything can so easily come apart.

Rebirth is an idea that everyone struggles with - with the more common among us, hiding behind the suggestion of such a word to imply a new found gain; a ruse. Not a word I'd dare use, yet only because of the gap I perceive between revelation and common delusion.

This is the unshackling; and I'll never be more ready.

_

Pimple Cream

2008-12-15T14:10:00.003+08:00

:: Pimple Cream ::
soundcheck : Lenny Kravitz - Fly Away

How do you crack an egg with a sledgehammer? Short of grabbing the egg and smacking it against the hammer, how the hell am I supposed to buffer the impact with my hands tied to the shaft?

I was telling her this analogy - that my life is like a computer, reset after a bad virus.

Thing is, I can't do anything right now until I finish installing all the programmes.

Fucky thing is, all I can do now is play Solitaire.

Ya — in Cambodia you'll be playing Minesweeper.

Stella

2008-12-15T06:54:00.002+08:00

:: Stella ::
soundcheck : Interpol - Stella Was a Diver, and She Was Always Down

I watched the rain move with silent rhythm throughout the night. I thought it nice to the streaks of water peek from underneath the orange glow of street lamps - just for a moment - before they fell endlessly on their remaining lap towards the ground.

That was nice, I thought.

_

Someone's Online

2008-12-14T09:53:00.002+08:00

:: Someone's Online ::
soundcheck : Leftfield - Phat Planet

Sundays have never been more uninspiring and gloomy than this one I've just woken up to.

Somehow, my remedy for fighting a gloomy Sunday is waking up early. Reason being, that way I know I can put in every effort to combat the feeling of not having done enough with my weekend.

Okay I'm blazed.
_

Just Maybe

2008-12-12T00:20:00.003+08:00

:: Just Maybe ::
soundcheck : LCD Soundsystem - New York, I Love You But You're Bringing Me Down

The room's a lot warmer tonight, for some reason - but I just got out of the rain.

Many strange little differences here and there, with whatever I notice distracting me just so I don't get anything done.

No points for guessing why work just doesn't entice anymore, but the one thought I've been having the entire day is how January is going to turn out. Never been a fan of resolutions but from what's been happening, 2009 is starting to sound like a personal revolution.

What do people think about when they look to the coming year? December is the month that naturally gets me depressed (not entirely sure why) and January we all don't look forward to because of work. By March we're already too busy chasing the days and before you know it, you're thinking about Christmas already.

When I look to 2009, I think of how it's the last year I can draw two dots to make eyes out of its double zeroes. Yes, because I do that to all your letters.

_

Failsafe

2008-12-11T15:17:00.004+08:00

:: Failsafe ::
soundcheck : Coheed and Cambria - Time Consumer

I don't want to write anymore.

I don't believe that anybody, feels the way I do about you now.

And all the roads we have to walk are winding.

And all the lights that lead the way are blinding.

There are many things that I, would like to say to you, but I don't know how.

Ame

2008-12-11T09:35:00.002+08:00

:: Ame ::
soundcheck : U2 - Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own

SIX AFGHAN POLICE KILLED IN MISTAKEN U.S. STRIKE

AMERICA, FUCK YEAH: COMIN' AGAIN TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUCKEN' DAY, YEAH.

Silver

2008-12-11T06:42:00.002+08:00

:: Silver ::
soundcheck : LCDremixed.com - London I love You, But You're Bringing Me Down

Anyone recall the feeling of getting up real early during your primary school days, like at six a.m. and coming out of the shower wrapped up in a towel? Remember how it felt like WHAT THE FUCK HELP ME (of course, you wouldn't have said that) whenever you shivered in the morning cold?

I kinda feel like that now, except no towel and I haven't even showered yet.

-----------------------------

"Like a death of the heart - Jesus, where do I start?!
But you're still the one pool, where I'd happily drown."

_

Pacbet

2008-12-10T09:10:00.002+08:00

:: Pacbet ::
soundcheck : Bloc Party - Talons

Am I the only one who gets annoyed seeing the term 'Gen Y' being used?

Received an e-mail this morning, containing a little e-newsletter from one of our working partners. Skimming through the first two paragraphs, I confirmed my intuitive loathing for the subject, with phrases that seemed to categorise the 'generation' like so much cattle in so very big a pen.

Don't get me wrong, I just feel that maybe it's about time the masses (and in this case, employers, human resource personnel and recruitment companies) tried a different approach, as opposed to simply changing the alphabet every couple of decades or so.

One phrase that particularly irked me was: "They are among the youngest in the workplace, and are often seen as smart and brash."

Alright, fine — that actually does sound like me (with emphasis on the latter), but I guess my quarrel with this topic is on the generalisation (which is an argument commonly found in many other topics, thus diminishing your interest in this post by ten fold).

Another sentence from the article reads: "However, Gen Y's employers see them as individualistic, proud and disloyal."

And so my argument gets shot to shit, as I steady myself to fit the very mould that casts this phenomenon over the world's economy.

I feel branded. ):

Phaser

2008-12-09T07:09:00.002+08:00

:: Phaser ::
soundcheck :Bloc Party - Helicopter (Diplo mix)

It was a sound night, but waking up to what you wrote just reminded me of the road we run down together.

It was rough for you but you need to know the things that I need to know.

You spoke of those who were fit to live in nothing but shadows. I would tell you the same. Their nothingness, after all, is what should fill your void as a person. If you cannot sap the strength off anything else, then gain it in the knowing that there can be no better.

---------------------------------

I'm watching you.
_

Zeroes

2008-12-08T19:44:00.003+08:00

:: Zeroes ::
soundcheck : The Killers - Human

Okay I'm interrupting myself from watching episode seven of Heroes season three. Is there anyone out there who feels that the whole 'Peter, Sylar, Nathan' thing is a little too Les Enfants Terribles?

Solid, Liquid, Solidus... one's a do-it-all, the second's kinda like a do-it-all, but turned evil: and finally, the third is the perfect copy that becomes... the president.

Then there's the concept of the patriarchal figure, Big Boss. Which in the case of Tim Kring, is manifested by the character Arthur Petrelli.

Coincidence or copy?

I guess not many people would realise the similarity - because I haven't met that many MGS fans who are into Heroes.

Oh I thought up this word a few nights ago, but had no-one to tell it to. Start guessing what Valiva means.

----------------------------

Oh and you would all love this video. Trust me.

LCD

2008-12-08T14:31:00.002+08:00

:: LCD ::
soundcheck : Simian Mobile Disco - Losing My Edge - LCD Soundsystem

I have to get rid of these mornings somehow. I've got enough material to cover me from here to Cambodia, but right now i guess it's from the knowing that the rain hasn't stopped and the badges are still on the table.

Cryptic aside, last night was spent wobbling and shuffling around the crowded premises of Zouk/Velvet. Kinda reminded me of how much I really dislike clubbing, but hey at the end of it all, it's really about the people you choose to be around with.

Aoki was alright - over hyped, but a good show nonetheless. It's sets like his that make you wish for people to clear the dance floor if they're just... gonna pull off some shoulder shrug or foot tap move in monotony minor. I mean, we know you want to get in the heat of it all, but if we're all gonna be like sardines - and if you're going to be pissy because you don't have space - then hey, maybe you should clear off so the rest of us can bust a move.

Then again i'm sure everyone feels the same way - idle dancer or not - but it's all good. I remember a plastic dayglo tulip that I picked up, the Kanye West red plastic glasses and orange stars on their eyes.

They sound like demons, actually.

If that's Zouk then I wonder what the Full Moon Party's gonna hold in store for us.

_

schnuppy

2008-12-07T11:42:00.002+08:00

:: schnuppy ::
soundcheck : Crystal Castles - D

Don't you wish everything were as simple as this?

Linked from Preik.
_

2008-12-05T14:14:00.001+08:00

when people run in circles, it's a very, very mad world.

Spiralina of the Endtimes

2008-12-05T07:13:00.002+08:00

:: Spiralina of the Endtimes ::
soundcheck : The Smashing Pumpkins - For Martha

I look back at the week and think that there are just too many things that are happening at once. I'm trying to wrap my mind around how exactly things are gonna have to go on at work (not really bothered, since my mind's made up) and if I even have any control over the degeneration.

You just can't help but wonder why people work that way sometimes, and I just can't fathom how things just tumbled out of control. I think you'll get your just desserts, and after last night, don't expect any thing more from any one of us.

Yeah, I could probably get fired for blogging about something like that, but i'd -really- like to see you try.

I'm no John Rambo, but Cambodia is really starting to get me jittery.

Since we're going to take the 'scenic' route between Phnom Penh (still have trouble spelling it) and Siem Reap, I figured we might as well invest in boots to last us the dusty roads. What I'm just alarmed at reading about is how there are still 5,000,000 undetonated mines in the country.

It's been said that even around the Angkor temples, there are mines left from the civil war. I also read something about the area around Siem Reap being a place of Khmer (it's an ethnicity, but the problem with mainstream media is how they use the same word to refer to the rebels) rebel activity, and some mines are actually freshly placed.

I showed the picture above to quite a few people - didn't really invoke the type of feeling I got when I stumbled across a child's crayon drawing of his friends and his village being engulfed in explosions that would put a Michael Bay movie to shame. Too bad I can't find that picture anymore.

_

Sunday

2008-12-04T17:11:00.003+08:00

:: Sunday ::
soundcheck : Linkin Park - Shadow of the Day

Today wasn't that bad - especially not this morning, but every time the day comes to an end I'm struck by the confusion from not knowing if this is a permanent end to what I can't openly address.

I'm dealing with it, and I'm trying - but I'm just so frustrated because, just this morning I was alight with excitement at the prospect of so much change that will happen for me in the year to come.

I'm not doing this for you, but when it's done then it's a road that will lead to the main street of 'I'm doing this for us'.

He said to be firm about it, and I said it's not going to work that way.

She said yes you have to let her know, and I said I think I did.

So okay, I'm alright. I just need to get this done, and then I'll take another look at everything. If i'm too late by then and if things have changed, then maybe that's just life.

I just wish these things could be as simple as 'Okay, set ah? You say one ah? Don't pang seh hor.' but unfortunately, feelings are involved, things get complicated, and I have a perfect habit of misinterpreting and misreading a lot of things in life.

I'm just sure about it this time. It's not the same, and I don't want things to change. I'm going back to the beginning, I'm going to learn every single thing all over again and I'm going to remember:

somewhere only we know
Spider-man 3
that smoking table at the K.A.P. McDonald's
that hug
that road up to Maju Camp.

And when I'm done; when I know I have it in me to pick up the pieces and mend them with everything I am, I am going to come back to you and show you that it doesn't matter to me if you leave here for good. It doesn't matter to me if I never hold you again. It doesn't matter if I never find myself in your eyes.

When I'm done with what I have to do, it only matters that I put everything into supporting you out of here, to help you find your way to happiness.

I love you.
_

Perspective

2008-12-04T11:28:00.003+08:00

:: Perspective ::
soundcheck : Radiohead - Karma Police

Talk about insight. Found this and others as strikingly brilliant here.

Fall, fall

2008-12-03T11:23:00.002+08:00

:: Fall, fall ::
soundcheck : -

Not working fast enough on two of today's deadlines
Not entirely sure what to make of tonight's session
Wondering when I'm ever going to get comfortable playing PS3 again
Anxious about leave approval
Losing appetite

But really, the question is: What would snake do?

Chronic Tronic

2008-12-03T09:36:00.002+08:00

:: Chronic Tronic ::
soundcheck : Stereophonics - Have a Nice Day

But I'm writing this because of something else. I'm experiencing an extreme form of disappointment from learning that the old 'hey can I copy your homework' habit has apparently found its way to the office.

It's pretty gross, especially with who you pride yourself to be as a professional, that you resort to these things. I guess you're just unlucky that I found out.

I'll probably have to address it, but for now I'm just not gonna waste my time.

...because I'm too busy searching for that old geocities website i made so many years ago haha.

-----------

O-kay. Guess I fucked up.

Crisp

2008-12-03T06:27:00.004+08:00

::Crisp ::
soundcheck : Goo Goo Dolls - Iris

It was 5am today, but hey, I managed to get back to bed and what do you know. Here I am once more, making 6am a morning routine.

Two friends made me realise two very important things yesterday.

It's not about filling up the holes, and it's not about making up for all those things I could have done before. It's about being back to the drawing board and bending the mould, to see how I won't just get here the next time.

I can't get my mind off of what has happened, but I need to because that's the only way I can learn to give myself equally to everything I do. Ultimately what I want is to not just go headstrong into something and disregard everything else that's not there.

It's the silence that gets to me, mostly. I'm really thankful that you're still there to speak to.

I just really hope I'm not messing up the programme just because I tell you how I feel.

I just don't want to ever forget how I felt that day, when you let me go.

The truth is I went from one supermarket to another, just to feel disappointment seven times over. I wanted to go on but then I started thinking about why the hell I didn't just get to doing this sooner, when It would have mattered more to you.

Every time I got on a train or a bus, I would stop to think and kick myself in the ass.

I had it all planned out in my head: I would show up at your door from out of the rain and just hold that carton with my knuckles white from nervousness. I would've given anything to see our smelly friend wonder who I am, pause for a moment and then suddenly go crazy when he figured out the smell.

Reality: Without the carton though, I just felt that I had no reason to see you - so I didn't even try. I don't think you would've been happy if I did though, so it works out, I guess.

_

Questions of Science

2008-12-02T06:15:00.002+08:00

:: Questions of Science ::
soundcheck : Natasha Bedingfield - The Scientist

I can't go on like this.

I can't just crawl into bed, out of fear of the darkness and force myself to sleep through exhaustion. It's only the second day, yet this sentence has already consumed me.

I can't go on being forcefully woken at six every morning, to the only thing that matters now - that you're gone.

Never mind that there are so many things we cannot do now - never mind that we can no longer speak the words that lost their meaning, because of the many careless times we've used them.

Where are you now, my love - and why can't I touch you where you are? Come quickly, for these tears I weep, they get bitter and colder by the moment.

My mind races with eighteen month's worth of what I could have done, if only to prevent such a mishap. Love, I cannot do much else, but silently wish for the day you feel the same way.

_

Click

2008-12-01T06:07:00.002+08:00

:: Click ::
soundcheck : -

It is cold this morning, like it was the night before.

With much panic and uncertainty, I struggled to get to bed. As hard as it was, though, I managed to do it because I was comforted by Chris' words.

I loved holding on to your few texts - but then I probably missed one: to which I replied late. As I waited blindly for a reply, I was brought back to nights awake with a ceiling fan, in bunk.

As I let my mind drift off into sleep, I could never truly let go into slumber, as I knew that somehow, this girl would send me sweet nothings that would resound as digital Samsung clicks in the night.

And this night, these clicks are but the first of many sounds, sights and smells that will haunt me.

Though we still share the same, veiled love, why is it that I feel bereaved, and terribly alone this day?

He said, 15 minutes at a time, but as I fight myself awake now, I don't know how i am going to face the rest of this long day - let alone the week, month... and god knows, years.

Oh sleep, though you were a hard lover to embrace, I truly wish we would have held forever.

Alas, even you must leave me to the cold nuances of solitude.

_

Endtime

2008-11-30T20:52:00.003+08:00

:: Endtime ::
soundcheck : Beck - Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime

I spent my life learning to hate anything and everything, just so I could get by on thinking that I was above it all.

I spent my time justifying how I was untouchable, severing everything that I perceived threatening or unsightly.

This time, my darkness has consumed me.

...and the love that has so warmly occupied my heart for the past year and many months.

Though we locked ourselves in a final embrace, with our sincerest words whispered to each other, the outcome stood the same.

I had found true love at its very last breath, and though it presented itself however briefly - it was in the same fashion that I so briefly lost it.

I am consumed by this darkness - and now the night comes for me. How will I ever see it through to the light of tomorrow, I know not.

For ye who battle still with thy own demons, take these words of a broken heart.

Give up your fight, because the further you venture on such a journey, the more you lose yourself in the end.

_

End

2008-11-25T09:51:00.002+08:00

:: End Theme ::
soundcheck : Rika Muranaka - The Best is Yet to Come

An cuimhin leat an gra

cra croi an ghra;

Nil anois ach ceol na h-oiche

taim siorai i ngra;

Leannain le smal,

Lig leis agus beidh leat,

Lig leis agus beidh gra.

Culmhne leat an t-am nuair,

a bhi tu sasta?

An culmhne, leat an t-am Nuair,

a bhi tu ag gaire.

Ta, an saol iontach,

ma chreideann tu ann.

Tug aghaidi ar an saol is,

sonas siorai inar measc.

Ceard a tharla,

do na laethanta sin,

Ceard a tharla,

do na h-oicheanta sin.

An culmhin leat, an t-am Nuair,

a bhi tu faol bhron.

An cuimhin leat, an t-am,

Go siorai sileadh na ndeor.

An ormsa, no orainne,

a bhi an locht.

Ag mothu, caiite, s'ar fan,

cen fath, an t-achrann is.

Sileadh, na ndeor, ta ailleacht,

Sa saol ma chuardaionn tu e.

Ta glionda s saol, cuadaimis e.

:: At Dawn ::

2008-10-28T00:13:00.003+08:00

:: At Dawn ::
soundcheck : Four Tet - And They Look Broken Hearted

In yet another attempt to chronicle my life's many perils and pleasures, here I am once more, penning down my thoughts into a post as (unintentionally) ambiguous and cryptic as my previous post.

I'll try and make it crystal, so let me have a go at making things simple.

Back from an eight-day trip that's left me with nagging thoughts and ideas. What was supposed to be a nostalgic re-enactment of a fond holiday turned out to be, instead, a realisation that things just aren't how I want them to be
I realise, that this awareness, along with many others, has increasingly aided in my personal isolation from everyone and everything that i've branded with the label of 'orthodox'
In a maddening attempt to grasp whatever means I have to achieve temporary escape, I realise that my efforts leave me scurrying in a frenzy alike to that of a rat in a melting cage
I can smile at least to know that I am not alone in my disagreement with everything dear and everything near - alas, it is with allies too that I find fault and question

It is really getting harder and harder to breathe in my own skin, but no - this isn't a cry of desperation.

Truth be told, I live, I breathe, I function as a sane person is expected to - but a sense of insanity grips the very core of my being, as I grow more and more restless to greet the moment I am able wrest my limbs from these chains and exact my song of awakening upon every single one of you.

"...and it is from being resigned to such dark emotions that one will eventually come to live under the control of such influences."

- Anon.

_

Deafening

2008-08-03T09:23:00.000+08:00

:: Deafening ::
soundcheck : Mew - Symmetry

Dawn was beautiful...

Thank you

_

2008-08-02T09:16:00.002+08:00

:: Igh, igh igh ::
soundcheck : Dandy Warhols - You Were the Last High

I am:

Seeking an alternative to Blogger
Wondering who else has been wolfing down bananas in this house
Considering Roy's invitation
Wondering what other games I haven't completed
not going to bother about you today.

First things first, maybe I should go look for another site.

And I am alone, but adored
By a hundred thousand more
That I said, when you were the last

And I have known love, like a whore
From at least ten thousand more
That I swore - when you were the last.

The Payroll

2008-04-30T23:37:00.002+08:00

:: Payroll ::
soundcheck : Radiohead - Karma Police

It's strange how every single time i come back here to write - i think to myself that i get darker and moodier with every entry.

The drab grey, the black, together with a sign off that goes 'Everyone dies alone' really work hard to overemphasise any hint of melancholy, but i'm not complaining because i either wouldn't be too fussed or really haven't figured out enough html to be bothered with adjusting the template.

My last couple of posts date back to when i first started working - that's a good five or six months since i made any effort in keeping up with my habit of being fashionably interested in giving the old blog a use.

Not that i've not been doing any writing, of course:

Three Annual Reports,
Three Newsletters,
A Dozen or so collaterals
Unquantifiable amounts of branding copy
and an indiscernible, yet finite number of typo's later,

This is where I am.

I think about penning something truly inspiring and thought-provoking - yet all i can offer you is a brief summary of the happenings of my life since last i left off in December.

I have misjudged and as a result - nearly lost,
I have forgiven - yet i have not forgotten the many times you've cast me aside,
I've plugged in the old microphone - yes, i've sung and yelled a fair share of what i've been missing out on,
I have been happy - in a very consistent and calming fashion,
I have seen my family less and less,
I have visited this space at least once daily - even with a broken comment board and no intention of posting

and the list goes on, but really, all i've done is see how far i can stretch my mention of events i deem noteworthy.

Even in a public space it really is daunting to know how it just seems impossible to avoid the inevitable comforts that come with anonymity and omission.

I've jumped topics so much that i am finally unable to conclude my train of thought.

Goodnight.

"Phew, for a minute there - i lost myself; i lost myself."

_

Lalilulelo

2007-12-06T01:04:00.000+08:00

:: Dec ::
soundcheck : Bloc Party - She's hearing voices

Dear Secret Santa,

Here's what I want.

1) Dunder Mifflin Mug
2) Dunder Mifflin Umbrella
3) Black Cardigan

Aiyah any of the three lah. But if you can't then you know I wouldn't mind. Thanks.

_

2007-11-01T06:28:00.000+08:00

:: Ash cow ::
soundcheck : Bloc Party - She's Hearing Voices (Erol Alkan's Calling Your Dub)

It's sweet that my dad picks up where he left off when I was, what - 18? And has once again marked my room as a pit stop along his usual morning route from bed to toilet.

But omfg honestly, I set my alarm to 6.45 and he comes a-knocking at 0600.

So here I am awake without all that much to do, really. But I'm still very much psyched for work.

Well just two messages this morning. The first just to thank everyone who wished me before and on my birthday - The facebook notifications where overwhelming. (Like what, 13 on the first day and a following 10 when I checked the next?)

It was pretty neat... even though we all know facebook reminded the lot of you. Okay i'm just kidding - come again next year.

I never really bother with birthdays much any more, but that little get away was really fab. I'd have posted up photos but I haven't really gotten to scanning your surprise material. You're probably asleep right now but it's true innit? I can't get enough of what you do. (:

Okay, work work.

_

2007-10-28T18:16:00.000+08:00

:: redPill/BLEUpill ::
soundcheck : Bloc Party - She's hearing voices

Sal. says:
sounds pretty annoying

dani . (the) Silly Munky [ ♣ ] says:
yah...i'm telling him about my friend my age who died from accident...so that he fucking knows that he doesn't know life so much

Sal. says:
good call

but i'll bet you an ice cream, magnolia style

that he starts getting philosophical and existential

like oh what is life

dani . (the) Silly Munky [ ♣ ] says:
hahha...he just managed a sad face

Sal. says:
because... water... is the essence

of moisture

and moisture

is the essence

dani . (the) Silly Munky [ ♣ ] says:
hahahhahha!!!!

Sal. says:
of wetness

glug glug glug !

dani . (the) Silly Munky [ ♣ ] says:
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH!!!!

AHHAHAHHAHAH! omg

Sal. says:
hahahaha

dani . (the) Silly Munky [ ♣ ] says:
Bn says: (6:12:50 PM)
=(
Bn says: (6:12:50 PM)
life is so fragile

Sal. says:
u owe me ice cream

dani . (the) Silly Munky [ ♣ ] says:
hahhaha...omg...

i'll give you half an icecream coz he left out the essence of water part

haha

I think no matter what a lot of you may believe, I still do miss my friends. So yeah it's nice to be able to talk once in awhile, no ?

I start work next week. Pretty psyched.

Well it's been awhile and I can't really be that fussed over the blog any more but I guess a birthday usually gives reason enough for an update or a post.

...and I've been watching the office. A lot. Okay I'm hooked.

I'm pretty glad we both got started out with our careers just fine. Here's to what we've planned - here's to you and I.

2007-10-08T16:55:00.000+08:00

:: ez-021 ::
soundcheck :Sheryl Crow - If it makes you happy

I've been long, a long way from here
Put on a poncho, played for mosquitos,
And drank til I was thirsty again.

We went searching through; thrift store jungles
Found Geronimo's rifle, Marilyn's shampoo
And Benny Goodman's corset and pen;

Well, okay - I made this up.
I promised you I'd never give up

If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad

If it makes you happy

Then why the hell are you so sad ?

_

2007-09-29T12:33:00.000+08:00

:: dudududu ::
soundcheck : - Travis - Closer

_

:: more than you know ::

2007-08-26T14:59:00.001+08:00

:: more than you know ::
soundcheck :Marilyn Manson - The Reflecting God

sub·ter·fuge [suhb-ter-fyooj] Pronunciation Key – noun

an artifice or expedient used to evade a rule, escape a consequence, hide something, etc.

[Origin: 1565–75; <>-ium]

—Synonyms deception, scheme, trick, dodge, ruse.

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

:: old piano ::

2007-08-17T16:38:00.000+08:00

:: old piano ::
soundcheck : The Smashing Pumpkins - For Martha

Whenever I run
Whenever I run to you lost one
It's never done
Just hanging on

Just past has let me be
Returning as if dream
Shattered as belief

If you have to go don't say goodbye
If you have to go don't you cry
If you have to go I will get by
Someday Ill follow you and see you on the other side

But for the grace of love
I'd will the meaning of
Heaven from above

Your picture out of time
Left aching in my mind
Shadows kept alive

If you have to go don't say goodbye
If you have to go don't you cry
If you have to go I will get by
I will follow you and see you on the other side

But for the grace of love
I'd will the meaning of
Heaven from above

Long horses we are born
Creatures more than torn
Mourning our way home

Okay, okay. I promised no more lyrics and one liners but I just had to post this up.

It's Friday ! What are you doing tonight ?

:: Shakedown, 1979 ::

2007-08-16T08:41:00.000+08:00

:: Shakedown, 1979 ::
soundcheck : The Crystal Method - 1979

Okay. I sincerely apologize if it seems as if I'm on some sort of TCM promo or something, but no. I'm being absolutely honest when I say that I haven't been able to stop listening to The Crystal Method.

There's just something about the beats on those tracks that gets me in a surprising state of calm ? I was just thinking about it yesterday during lunch that probably, due to lack of lyrical content, the only thing the music sets me in is to a beat. So yes nothing would really work to trigger any form of thought that could potentially lead to my usual bouts of moody-ness ? Works, but yeah it isn't as if there's nothing on my mind. :\

That interview is in less than 3 hours away OH NO !

I've decided that if I'm going to ask for that kind of money, I'd have to look pretty.damned.worth.it, too. Haha.

I think the one thing I miss most everytime she's away,
other than the girl herself, are the conversations we'd have.

This inability to talk -
is sometimes,
surprisingly more bothering than
not being able to see each other.

Right. Time for breakfast and prep.

_

:: Don't Stop ::

2007-08-15T11:00:00.000+08:00

:: Don't Stop ::
soundcheck : The Crystal Method - No Soul

Okay the day has started, and I have less than 24 hours to prepare for this interview.

I still find it strange how, of all the interviews I've had to sit for (successful or not), this is probably the only one that I've really prepared for.

I don't know what I'm going to wear though.

...but it's IN THE SHOES I swear.

So to narrow it down, it's either black leather court or hahaha fucking white canvas.

Anyway I've already gotten down to starting on the prep for the portfolio, so I'll probably take it easy for an hour before I head out to get my stuff.

Oh hey I just got The Crystal Method's discography. I've been putting nothing but TCM on for the last 1+ (?) days ? I've decided they're more of an easy listen as compared to The Prodigy or Daft Punk, though of course they all make for good listening.

I think though I like TCM for their darker beats and undertones, what sets them apart is probably... hmmm. style and less lyrical content ? So yeah I guess that's why I found them to be an easier listen. Less distraction while engaged in other activities, no ?

Oh and I really like this album's cover.

Okay I know it's probably gonna be another slow day but I'm going to make it busy. So leave me to my cigarette, bitches.

_

:: Stress Factor : 7.5 ::

2007-08-14T20:48:00.001+08:00

:: Stress Factor : 7.5 ::

Okay shit.

I need alot of things done, and everything is weighing on my ability to get a job.

Let's list things down a little here. I'm keen on this job with SMP because they offer a good chance of me picking up on ad sales and marketing, they'll give me good creative input as a Staff Writer on one of their publications and also there's a chance I might be working on their nightlife publication so that should be relatively interesting.

So, everything is there in terms of take-away experience and a good job scope that I'd be good in and interested in, plus - looking at my portfolio I can safely say that I can offer them what they're looking for in terms of relevancy and lingual competency.

The only problem is ? Alot of people are telling me to expect pay as low as $1.2k

...and this is coming from me who wants to strut in on Thursday with a nicely laid out portfolio and ask for $1.8k - $2k.

Whoopdeedoo.

...and yes, in other areas as well I've been starting to really feel the pinch of late.

I mean, apart from being so fucking broke all the time, I'm going to have to

Plan for next year's 2nd quarter...thing *cough* don't worry not slipping* (+/- $2k ?? )
Get back in shape due to certain... health issues ($150 a month)
Prepare myself physically, charismatically and mentally for meeting Ade's mom (omfg stress) ( Phoenix Down + X-Potion )
Go for lessons and get my 2b and pay for a bike ( fn' cb dunno how much lah $3k ?)
Other misc. expenses along the way (like fucking end of year partying and an early planned celebration in February) ( SORROWWWWWW )

Oh fuck I knew listing them all out was a bad idea.

Well hello, my name is Sal and I'm fucked ! Very pleased to meet you !!!! :D

P.S.

I know alot of you still read my blog, so please use the tagboard. Honestly it's been awhile since i've heard from many of you, and i promise if you show me I didn't put that tagboard there for nothing, then I'll show you I can give you better things to read than song lyrics and sad one liners. Honest.
_

:: Moan for me and trip, like i do. ::

2007-08-14T19:00:00.001+08:00

:: Moan for me and trip, like i do. ::

Please please please please.

Staff writer + Nightlife publication = Writing about having fun and being paid to immerse yourself in said fun.

= Works.

:: CAL ::

2007-08-14T11:17:00.000+08:00

:: CAL ::

"...You really think she's happier than us ? "

:: plague ::

2007-08-12T05:33:00.000+08:00

:: plague ::

Lie awake in bed at night
And think about your life
Do you want to be different?

Try to let go of the truth
The battles of your youth
'Cause this is just a game -

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me -

It's time to forget about the past
To wash away what happened last

Hide behind an empty face
Don't ask too much, just say
'Cause this is just a game

It's a beautiful lie
It's a perfect denial
Such a beautiful lie to believe in
So beautiful, beautiful lie makes me -

Lie....

Beautiful

:: - ::

2007-08-03T16:12:00.000+08:00

:: - ::

All around me are familiar faces,
Worn out places,
Worn out faces.

Bright and early for their daily races
Going no-where
Going no-where.

Their tears are filling up their glasses,
No expression;
No expression.

Hide my head i wanna drown my sorrow;
No tomorrow -
No tomorrow.

And I find it kind of funny; I find it kind of sad;
The dreams in which i'm dying, are the best i've ever had.

I find it hard to tell you,
I find it hard to take -

When people run in circles it's a very, very

...mad world.

:: Endtime ::

2007-08-03T06:51:00.000+08:00

:: Endtime ::

at every turn and glimmer of hope
we falter and let our worries get the better of us
and i try to be strong
because i know i've been there
but it's just so fucking hard

and we get down on our knees
and cast our immortal pride aside
for just one night
just one more chance

in darkness we close our eyes
and we beg

profusely,

discreetly

for an answer
for a solution

and we even make the requests out
as mock challenges

what answers will tomorrow bring

the truth is that i don't know
and i'm afraid too

i find myself at wits end
i find myself consumed and weary of life
if all to cost for loving you

i still would give

just don't give up
because that has hurt me the most

_

:: Gravity ::

2007-07-30T13:01:00.000+08:00

:: Gravity ::

Someone throw me a fucking bone man.

Please.

:: Poetic Tragedy ::

2007-07-29T16:36:00.000+08:00

:: Poetic Tragedy ::

The cup is not half empty as pessimists say.
As far as he sees; nothing's left in the cup.

A whole cup full of nothing for him to indulge,
since the voice of ambition has long since been shut up.

A singer ?
a writer ?
He's not dreaming of going no where.
He gave heed to nothing;
and all that he was is just a tragedy.

So he voyages in circles, succeeds getting nowhere...
...and submits to the substance that first got him there, there, there, THERE

In violent frustration;
he cries out to God - or just no one.
Is there a point to this madness ?
And all that he was is just a tragedy.

He feels alone
His heart in his hand;
He's alone.

He feels alone ;
I feel...

Then on that last day he breaks
and he stood tall
then he yelled,

...then he yelled

In violent frustration;
he cries out to God - or just no one.
Is there a point to this madness ?

And all that he was is just a tragedy.

:: Exitlude ::

2007-07-27T12:01:00.000+08:00

:: Exitlude ::

I think I've had enough of viewing my blog and scrolling through all these... nonsensical and pseudo-cryptic posts.

I woke up a little earlier today to the rain and the thought that a group of people, that i'm honestly not very close to or consider myself a part of, is having their share of tears and goodbyes.

For once, as an outsider and as an observer; I felt horrible seeing them shed their tears and wave their farewells.

Where usually, I'd have taken mental notes and coughed up a week's worth of thought to unravel and learn from - In such a moment where their goodbyes were said at the airport, I wanted to panic. Though Juli is my friend as well as theirs, I felt antsy just watching the emotion pour out in tears and hugs and frantic words that, under normal circumstances, would not have made any audible sense at all.

I didn't cry when she left, but that didn't necessarily make me any less emotional than anybody else that was there this morning - I realized this when Juli walked towards Arthur to greet and kiss him goodbye.

I don't know if I was hearing anything in particular but I remember letting out quite a loud sigh. In all honesty I doubt I've witnessed anything as sad as lovers parting and forcibly choosing to end the dance for fear of a future that the distance brings.

Though holding hands, still and silent - I know we felt and shared their fear as we looked to their eyes to trace for tears. I felt our hands grip tighter in response to every sob and every rolling tear.

I walked away from there feeling so weighed down by the sadness and stillness of the morning air.

I woke up today and it seemed like the stillness chose to linger with the rain. I remembered two names along with the one that I wake up to everyday, and I sent a text to these two lads, Arthur and Xuan Bin (Bee). I sent them what I felt were appropriate words of encouragement, as they head off to a little island of war, North-east of mainland.

It'll be tough to start with, but I'm sure you guys'll pull through.

Though I must admit it isn't as if we've been acquainted for long, It pains me so much to know that all these people are fighting to carry on with what comes their way and deal with the fear of losing each other with hysteric laughter derived from self-ridicule and badly taken photos - not that it's wrong; just that I admire all of you for that.

So the boys are off to the Army, with a couple more of them following soon after at the end of the year. The girls will move on to pursue their careers or start their school terms - and the next thing to look out for is when Juli comes back end of year for summer.

Though I don't associate myself with you guys all that much, I just wanted to really say that looking at your group of friends made me think alot about mine, and I feel alot of regret for not being, in return to them, the friends they all were to me. I pray that when you wake this morning, you will look upon your friendship and look forward to whatever comes with hope, and a knowing that you will have each other still.

Exitlude - The Killers

"Aggressively, we all defend the role we play.
Regrettably - time's come to send you on your way

We've seen it all,
Bonfires of trust,
Flashfloods of pain.

Doesn't really matter,
Don't you worry - it'll all work out.

No it doesn't even matter,
Don't you worry what it's all about.

We hope, you enjoyed your stay -
It's good to have you with us,
Even if it's just for the day.

We hope, you enjoyed your stay -
Outside the sun is shining;
Seems like heaven ain't far away.

It's good to have you with us,
Even if it's just for the day.

Outside, the sun is shining; seems like heaven ain't far away."

:: Helikoko ::

2007-07-25T21:43:00.000+08:00

:: Helikoko ::

...ARE YOU HOPING FOR A MIRACLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

JENGJENGJENGJENG

mat rock never die.

_

:: Lovedrug ::

2007-07-21T20:25:00.000+08:00

:: Lovedrug ::

I want to make you happy,
But I've fallen -

I'm sorry.

I thought my wings could hold me up -
with angels,

not demons.

You don't know how cool you are;
to find the ways to love me -

without shame.

I want my life to be red
with trees and,

like autumn

I'd float away from evil -
and down towards

the healing.

So sad that we have become
The children trapped in the mazes.

I'd give my soul to the one;

Who has the courage to find me,

... and free me.

:: ethereal ::

2007-07-21T06:16:00.000+08:00

:: ethereal ::

I will not lie

The entirety of my being is worn,
and as what is left of this night slowly melts into meaningless ash stacked upon itself
I long for an eternal rest

I wish to rid myself, of these feelings; the pain
of the silence that encompasses everything -
that compels me,
that has destroyed me.

I seek rest, I seek repair.

...I will not lie.

_

:: love ::

2007-07-16T19:49:00.000+08:00

:: love ::

One of the many reasons why i love mom.

From :	Mom.
Sent :	Monday, July 16, 2007 7:43 PM
To :	Sal Sim
Subject :	Fw: Sign up FOC pizza hut membership now n get 1 foc hawaiian pizza!

Hey,

U want free pizzas?!

Sign up as what Doreen says.

If you are not the addressee, please inform us immediately that you have received this e-mail by mistake, and delete it. We thank you for your support.

----- Original Message -----

From: Doreen.

To: undisclosed-recipients:

Sent: Monday, July 16, 2007 6:12 PM

Subject: Fw: Sign up FOC pizza hut membership now n get 1 foc hawaiian pizza!

FREE PIZZA... simply sign up now...free membership

:: illus ::

2007-07-16T18:19:00.000+08:00

:: illus ::

I saw something really beautiful today.

I'm trying to think about why i found it beautiful, but nothing comes to mind.

It was an eye. When i first noticed it it was closed and then when i turned away, through my peripheral i noticed it move. It creaked open a little and looked sideways, and to another side.

...then it closed once more.

And i stared at it and watched it in the same pattern for about 3 turns

I noticed every single surrounding crack, and noticed the pupils.

Nothing special, but special nonetheless.

It was the sadness that drew me to it.

_

:: epiph ::

2007-07-16T14:05:00.000+08:00

:: epiph ::

"I THINK i know why you don't drink," said Alice. They were in a
bar on Second Avenue that served kids. She was drinking a cos-
mopolitan; he was drinking coffee.

"Why?" asked White Mike.
"You like the power you have from being sober all the time
around people who are fucked up."

- Nick McDonell's 'Twelve'.

_

:: ): ::

2007-07-06T12:35:00.000+08:00

:: ): ::

Out the door just in time
Head down the 405
Gotta meet the new boss by 8 a.m.

The phone rings in the car
The wife is workin' hard
She's running late tonight again

Well,
I know what I've been told;
You got to work to feed the soul -
But I can't do this all on my own.
No, I know - I'm no Superman

I'm no Superman.

:: kraD eht otnI ::

2007-07-05T14:12:00.000+08:00

:: kraD eht otnI ::

Oh, and I was really serious when I said I came armed with a pot of coffee.

Sal : Uhm today cook what ?

Maid : Pasta. Cooking now.

Sal : Ok. Help me make coffee. Put in here. *places pot on counter*

Maid : HARH ? ONE POT ?

Sal : uh yup

:: Into the dark ::

2007-07-05T13:46:00.000+08:00

:: Into the dark ::

It starts !

I got up today and I had to fight all this weight from cleaning, organizing and fucking getting back to doing those flyers for work, which starts on Monday.

Addy's gone to HK so that makes the weekend even harder, but hopefully I'd have the time then to finish off more flyers and do some research.

Okay. Sal is armed with a pot of coffee, lucky strikes and his zippo.

He needs to

get at least 25 flyers done by today
watch american beauty (again)
revise his long term plan
get started with assoc. research

O.K. that was alot of work. smoke break !

:: LN ::

2007-07-04T13:50:00.000+08:00

:: LN ::

Hello,
I've waited here for you -

Everlong.

Tonight,
I throw myself into -

And out of the red; out of her head, she sang.

Come down,
And waste away - with me.

Down, with me.

Slow; how
you wanted it to be.

I'm over my head - out of her head, she sang.

And i wonder -

When I sing along with you;

If everything could ever be this real, forever ?
If anything could ever be this good - again ?

"The only thing I'll ever ask of you -
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when."

- She sang.

I hope you remember this
from when I freaked out
and had nothing to say
so I sang.

I love you.

Have fun in HK ! :)

:: Plunge ::

2007-07-04T13:16:00.000+08:00

:: Plunge ::

Probably the best holiday I've had.

and like I think I've mentioned before, I wasn't ever sure of how much I'd enjoy it or whether or not the proximity'd be good for the two of us - especially seeing as how a few days in Perth led to me having fights like every day or how a few other days in Bintan led to me leaving sore and in a rage.

But this time with you was surprisingly different and enlightening, and the things you do never seem to come short of leaving me amazed.

I took the days slowly I guess, because at the beginning I kind of already knew it would end; and that I wouldn't want it to.

Have a feeling I only really enjoyed the weekend market, because it felt as if the night bazaar was a little more expensive, and the malls had store owners who weren't nearly as friendly as the ones at the weekend market.

I can't really say that I did any exploring by my own - the hotel's location was a weird one and it seemed to be at the beginning of a border in between two sections of highway and a railway. We slept soundly without disturbance from traffic, though - but what I'm saying is if you asked me to try to get around on foot - I'd tell you that the streets just didn't seem welcoming enough, and I couldn't see anything attractive enough to draw me to in a general direction sort of fashion.

The locals must've thought I was one of them, I think. Especially from their stares. It must be the skin colour and probably the features, but then again I think Addy got a fair share of stares herself (but it's only because she's hot) and people spoke in Thai to her too.

Well our 6 days was mostly spent shopping and eating and waking up early for continental breakfasts (and I must say that aside from the coffee I had in the morning, I never really enjoyed much else, for fear of a weak stomach) but I loved the company the most. I kind of miss having such characters around. I just hope the holiday was as good for them as it was for me.

I might have to do a little more travelling this year but I guess that'd be up to the company.

They predicted a resort org. thing in September and I'm supposed to be there either by myself or with a partner.

I just hope I can extend it a little and turn it into a holiday with Ade.

Oh and she'll be off to HK like, tomorrow morning and I'll be missing her dearly. Especially since I have this weekend all to my lonesome with no real preparation for work that starts on Monday. FEAR.

OH and by the way.

There are no pictures from the trip, because we were careless enough to lose the only camera in our group. So yes we still feel really heartbroken about it.

KThxBye.

_

2007-06-27T20:17:00.000+08:00

:: HOLIDAY ::

Before life even begins, I am going to have this holiday.

This here is one big cry of 'ORD OH !'

...and so much more.

Goodbye for 6 days !

_

:: RIP Chris Benoit (May 21, 1967 – June 25, 2007) ::

2007-06-26T12:59:00.000+08:00

:: RIP Chris Benoit (May 21, 1967 – June 25, 2007) ::

You were an inspiration to underdogs all around the world.
You may not have been the fanciest, sexiest,

the one with the coolest moves or anything,

and though I wouldn't really be fucked about wrestling anymore

You were definitely an inspiration to me.

Rest in peace.

:: Beautiful ::

2007-06-26T09:26:00.000+08:00

:: Beautiful ::

If you can depend
On certainty -

Count it out and weigh it up again.

If you can be sure
You’ve reached the end -

And still, you don’t feel;

Do you know, you’re beautiful ?

Do you know - you’re beautiful.

Do you know you’re beautiful; You are, yes you are.

If you can ignore
What you’ve become -

Take it out, and see it die again.

If you can be here
For who’s a friend;

And still, you don’t feel -

Innermost thoughts
Will be understood and

You can have all you need.

Do you know;
You know about anything ?
Do you know;
You know about anyone ?

Do you know, you’re beautiful ?

Do you know - you’re beautiful.

Do you know you’re beautiful; You are, yes you are.

:: wee're allllllright ! ::

2007-06-22T20:40:00.000+08:00

:: wee're allllllright ! ::

As of 9th July 2007, Sal Selamat-Sim

WILL BE EMPLOYED.

So put that in a cigarette and smoke it, bitches.

Okay no big deal but yessssssss finally I have a job. It's a pretty scary sounding one that demands quite a deal of commitment and focus but hey the money is..... pretty much what I need and OMG MONEY MEANS WHAT ?

- bike
- holidays
- Mambo + Beat! (I CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST LISTED MAMBO )
- WORLD DOMINATION

Okay but seriously, seriously. Breakthroughhhhhh !

Oh and i'll be off to BK for about a week starting Thurs next week, with Ade and our friends.

( why the fuck am I blogging this as if anyone reads this or bothers to, anyway HAHAHAHA)

and oh.

SEDUCING SCORPIO MEN: Scorpio men are violent, moody, but passionate and exciting as well. Their ideal woman is determined and hard to seduce. Generally, Scorpios prefer hiding their own emotions and hate mawkishnesses.
TIP: be precious with him!!!

and i AM GOING TO BEAT! TONIGHT HAHAHA BYE

_

:: Calm like a bomb ::

2007-06-21T16:08:00.000+08:00

:: Calm like a bomb ::

Dear Sal,

It's time you twisted the pin on the hand-grenade that is you.

Stand by, and good luck.

Your friend, Sal.

:: Passive Aggressive Bullshit ::

2007-06-20T10:14:00.000+08:00

:: Passive Aggressive Bullshit ::

"Dead as dead can be"

- my doctor told me ;

But i just can't believe him,
Ever the optimistic one -

I'm sure of -
Your ability, to become -

My Perfect Enemy.

Wake up

..And face me,

Don't play dead

Because, maybe -
One day, I will walk away and say

You disappoint me. Maybe you're better off this way.

Leaning over you here; cold and catatonic -

I catch a brief reflection, of what you could and might've been

It's your right, and your.... ability

To become

My Perfect Enemy.

:: tion ::

2007-06-20T01:10:00.000+08:00

:: tion ::

If you would call me,

at this very moment.

I would break down

and I swear I'd tell you every single thing.

:: Click ::

2007-06-17T00:56:00.001+08:00

:: Click ::

I am in love with Adeline Chong.

_

:: Abyss ::

2007-06-16T17:59:00.000+08:00

:: Abyss ::

I am flowing

across a void below, with the other side of the rift no-where in sight.

I remember leaping, eyes closed and wondering - if I'd ever see the light on the other side of existence - yet in the beginning I trusted solely upon myself for deliverance

Yet I am flowing still

and along the way I see several others like me

some are crying - their useless beads of salt and moisture propelling away from them as they move along, like water, like nothing.

For what does it mean to shed tears, in the knowledge of what you have done and where you are ?

some are asleep, for who knows for how long they have been in such a plane of torment (perceived, mind you) and as I cross them , I feel that they have intentionally given up the experience, and are currently just moving as momentum tells them to.

I do not know at which point of the rift I have crossed, but if I strain my eyes hard enough - I'd see bodies on the bed of the chasm, snapped and broken like flattened nothingness

strangely enough, they all wear white

symbolism ?

Of what though, I will ponder tonight.

Oh, tonight - tonight, of many nights, for it is seemingly never that I will find the end

And I think to myself, that it is so tempting to give up

That maybe this is getting a little boring, and that I might want to fall

and crash to the bottom in an effort to change course, and find something new.

But my fingers tremble and I am afraid once more.

O, but the life of fear I lead !

In contrast, I am awake, eyes wide - and I shake the thoughts from my head. I spin around to check ;

and realize that nothing has changed.

I am adrift; above the gaze now - and beyond monster.

I want to fly into your sun
need pain to make me numb

Live like a teenage christ;
I'm a saint - got a date with suicide.

Oh Mary - Mary,
To be this young is oh-so-scary.

Oh Mary - Mary;
To be this young ; I'm oh-so scared

I want to live, I want to love

But it's a long hard road, out of hell.

You never said forever -

could ever hurt like this.

:: ord oh. ::

2007-06-08T14:08:00.001+08:00

:: ord oh. ::

SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS !

WHAT. IS. YOUR... PROFESSION ?!

....*cough*

Civilian, sir.

:: The Kill. ::

2007-06-04T06:48:00.001+08:00

:: The Kill ::

What if I wanted to break ?
Laugh it all off in your
face -

What would you do ?

What if I fell to the floor -
Couldn't take this any more;

What would you do, do -

DO ?

COME

break me down -

BURY ME : bury me -

~~I am finished with you.~~

What if I wanted to fight ;
begged for the rest of my life ?

What would you do.

You say you wanted more - WHAT are you waiting for,

I'm not running from you.

Look in my eyes; you're KILLING ME, KILLING ME

all i've wanted was you.

2007-05-27T12:07:00.000+08:00

:: . ::

The air raids at night -
are keeping things serene

The president's men are closing in on me ;

and the cross-hair grin you hold me in;
still does not propose -

an argument convincing me to shed the Devil's clothes.

Electrodes to spine,
tonguing my wounds clean -

and that's where the madness stops : "Oh yeah, I had a dream ! I had a dream !" It went -

shackled to the lover of another
in a chapel so pristine

Baptised as Atheists - I've never felt so clean.

The more I hear doves cry; the less I want to fly.

The more I hear them...crying... out...

WHERE does the seizure end ?

WHEN DOES the cyanide KICK IN /
I'D LIKE TO HIKE YOU UP ABOVE THIS WASTE OF LOVE - AND BACK AGAIN

OH MY MISTRESS - whoa sweet distress ! Your dress is bringin' it all back to me

WE ARE CLOSER than pornstars caught in a roundabout

IN HELL.

:: summons ::

2007-05-17T02:30:00.000+08:00

: summons ::

You were right old friend - because if anything, this time especially - it'd be me and not her

but I want it, not only because of the obvious beauty

but because there's things that need to be fixed and I need to work for this or risk being forever lost and stuck in the recesses of self conflict.

I can't go on with the cycle and I cannot leave a scar because this time I don't want to just stay the same.

I need to grow. I need to learn.

....and if I hurt myself in the process - if I fall, bleed or if I were to lose myself once more

this time is different.

This time will be worth it.

Because we all need something to die for

to make living so beautiful.